Sudden life changes

It’s funny how life can radically change from one day to the next. Seven days ago I signed the catering contract for the reception and I was bursting with new ideas for the dress, which I started working on feverishly.

And then three days ago I was on the phone with my fiance explaining how he was not ready to get married and that our relationship was over. Just like that, the future that I thought was so close and felt so tangible vanished. My life drops off into an empty void in three months.

I always thought that if I called off a wedding I would have to burn everything and make it all end in overly dramatic style. Now living it I realize that’s not the case. I hurt more than I ever have before, I have been betrayed, but I am not angry or vindictive. The dress will live on, though just not right now. If I ever do marry I can honestly see myself wearing it. I feel as though it is such a part of me that it hasn’t been touched by this like a normal dress, bought already made and impersonally altered, would be. This dress was always my passion and my dream anyway. Though he never saw it, I know for a fact my fiance wouldn’t like the dress. It’s why I had bought a separate reception dress.

So this dress will live on.

But I can’t work on it for a bit. I need to work on me instead. On healing and moving forward and seeing who I am when I’m not someone else’s. This blog will be dead for a while – maybe forever. But hopefully not. Hopefully some day I will once again pick up my needle and thread and finish individually hand tying these beads onto the sleeves.

image

image

And then maybe I’ll also tell you about my plans for a scalloped waist and a lace front.

All in good time.

Thank you for making this journey with me.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Sudden life changes

  1. billwis1@comcast.net says:

    Ali, We are sorry that you are hurting. Marriage is one of the few decisions where both parties need to be committed 100%, anything less and life itself will be painful and unfulfilled. So, heal yourself for now and and when the right time comes you will have no doubts whatsoever.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s